Sweet,
jiejiecrylikeafuckingbabyeverysinglenight.
and
everysinglemorningiwokeup, i;llfeelthisacutelossagain,alloverfuckingagainsweet.
:'(
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Saturday, March 26, 2011
This saturday, i am home - - to do studying. preparing for my upcoming exams which will be here I think pretty soon, 12th and 15th of April. I didnt really want last minute rushing anymore so ya. .
I think gradually im being moved by life unknowingly, unwillingy, I was and did. This loss, is still very recent, still very unwilling. still very idontknow, I never wanted him to leave:(
Everytime I thought I was coping well, (at least for the moment) then I dont know why I would suddenly stopped and remind myself about the loss. It came naturally. haix.. This saturday sweetheart, i wish you were here with me just lying around, and ya, maybe bring you down to play, I dont know its just perfect-- Actually to feel better I always imagine. I imagine youre still here, at my door room, lying down and peeping underneath, I imagine you following behind Oldgranny everytime she stands up, I imagine hugging you Sweetheart. How I really Wish i could have you once again, all over again. Sigh...
I think gradually im being moved by life unknowingly, unwillingy, I was and did. This loss, is still very recent, still very unwilling. still very idontknow, I never wanted him to leave:(
Everytime I thought I was coping well, (at least for the moment) then I dont know why I would suddenly stopped and remind myself about the loss. It came naturally. haix.. This saturday sweetheart, i wish you were here with me just lying around, and ya, maybe bring you down to play, I dont know its just perfect-- Actually to feel better I always imagine. I imagine youre still here, at my door room, lying down and peeping underneath, I imagine you following behind Oldgranny everytime she stands up, I imagine hugging you Sweetheart. How I really Wish i could have you once again, all over again. Sigh...
Sunday, March 20, 2011
You know what sweetheart, today I attempted to get a replacement. actually this word seems so.. whatthefuck but baby, your didi/korkor didnt made it home. He looked like you very much and to be frank, my heart hurts when I saw him.. Cus it literally reminded me of you.
I know this entire replacement thing is so screwed up. It was my impulse I know, sorry Gene :(
When I carried Gene in my arms and when I start to observe him, I feel that he's really really like sweetheart and that my heart was actually pain. I dont know what kinda pain is this.. maybe because I feel that he will really be replaced than showering him w love. but, thats not true. I will treat him as Gene.. Apart of me was very afraid... Afraid . . I dont know what kinda afraid is this .
Maybe it was my family. My family is giving me alot of problem . . and that maybe because of my parents declining business made them very fucked and reluctant to accept. They were hard core kpkb and that made the reason for me to gave up Gene. . sigh gene:'( dui bu qi . .
now i am back to nothingness, allfuckingoveragain
I know this entire replacement thing is so screwed up. It was my impulse I know, sorry Gene :(
When I carried Gene in my arms and when I start to observe him, I feel that he's really really like sweetheart and that my heart was actually pain. I dont know what kinda pain is this.. maybe because I feel that he will really be replaced than showering him w love. but, thats not true. I will treat him as Gene.. Apart of me was very afraid... Afraid . . I dont know what kinda afraid is this .
Maybe it was my family. My family is giving me alot of problem . . and that maybe because of my parents declining business made them very fucked and reluctant to accept. They were hard core kpkb and that made the reason for me to gave up Gene. . sigh gene:'( dui bu qi . .
now i am back to nothingness, allfuckingoveragain
Saturday, March 12, 2011
xiaob, my beloved doggy left me, left my brother left the entire family on 8th March 2011. The heart cant stop aching, the tears cant stop flowing. I miss you so fucking much.
It was an accident. an accident which could be prevented if everyone of us in the family was more careful and thoughtful my sweetheart...... got choked by a fruit which he snatched from the table. he struggled to puke out and by the time my brother digged out the damn fucking fruit, hes weak and leaving. - my heart was..... totally hurt.
My sweetheart, which i got last closest contact with left me. if i could make the decision to visit my aljunied grandma on that god damn fucking tuesday , he would not have left me. I brought him down to play, he was happy. I'd got all the raw alived pictures of him and whenever I visit my gallary my heart starts to beat, tears starts to fall, mind starts to recall significally.
What the fuck is this, tell me. tell me how long would i ever take to ease this loss. My sweetheart, the entire house was about you.
When we ring the bell, knocked the door, you are always there to answer it. Even if I were to home 3 am, you'll be there.. be there to call for door openings.
When ahma wakes up.. youll follow behind her, follow to her wash up. wait for her breakfast and asked for some foods.
When brother is sleeping, youll go to him and smell him, then lie beside him.
When I wanna snap pictures of you, unknowingly co-operative or what, youll looked into the camera.
When we bite on snacks, you will come and find us cus u wana have a bite of it.
When I am lonely and have no one, you were my only friend.
When I study and do projects, you just linger around me, around the room.
-
All that I can remember vividly will never be able to come alive. Even its for the last time, my dearest BB , you;ll never come back-
I am so fucking sorry. I failed to protect you. I fucking miss and love you so much. You know . . this loss is so significant and painful. knnbpcb painful. jiejie wish you could come back..... jiejie wish to smell you again. wish to bring you down and play, wish to hug you to bed. jiejie miss every little thing of you. I miss you scratching your body, I miss you hating the sound of the hair dryer, I miss you sleeping on the sofa, on the floor, beside ahma, I miss you asking for foods, I miss your meals at 7am and 4pm, I miss your shampoo, your towels, your toys, your ledge. jiejie missed every little thing about you sweet heart.
This entire thing happened too quick. you could have a longer life span. jiejie could have you a little longer sweetheart.
Dearest BB, despite all that had happened, you know I loved you most... doted on you, play with you and is very thankful that you became a part of us , became ahma;s best companion, my bestest friend, brothers favourite pet, and family's joy. You became a part of us unknowingly over the years.
Baby, you will always be with us , even though this sentence is total crap but I hope youll remember me, my dear sweet heart.
Jiejie cant stop crying for you. I miss you baby.
It was an accident. an accident which could be prevented if everyone of us in the family was more careful and thoughtful my sweetheart...... got choked by a fruit which he snatched from the table. he struggled to puke out and by the time my brother digged out the damn fucking fruit, hes weak and leaving. - my heart was..... totally hurt.
My sweetheart, which i got last closest contact with left me. if i could make the decision to visit my aljunied grandma on that god damn fucking tuesday , he would not have left me. I brought him down to play, he was happy. I'd got all the raw alived pictures of him and whenever I visit my gallary my heart starts to beat, tears starts to fall, mind starts to recall significally.
What the fuck is this, tell me. tell me how long would i ever take to ease this loss. My sweetheart, the entire house was about you.
When we ring the bell, knocked the door, you are always there to answer it. Even if I were to home 3 am, you'll be there.. be there to call for door openings.
When ahma wakes up.. youll follow behind her, follow to her wash up. wait for her breakfast and asked for some foods.
When brother is sleeping, youll go to him and smell him, then lie beside him.
When I wanna snap pictures of you, unknowingly co-operative or what, youll looked into the camera.
When we bite on snacks, you will come and find us cus u wana have a bite of it.
When I am lonely and have no one, you were my only friend.
When I study and do projects, you just linger around me, around the room.
-
All that I can remember vividly will never be able to come alive. Even its for the last time, my dearest BB , you;ll never come back-
I am so fucking sorry. I failed to protect you. I fucking miss and love you so much. You know . . this loss is so significant and painful. knnbpcb painful. jiejie wish you could come back..... jiejie wish to smell you again. wish to bring you down and play, wish to hug you to bed. jiejie miss every little thing of you. I miss you scratching your body, I miss you hating the sound of the hair dryer, I miss you sleeping on the sofa, on the floor, beside ahma, I miss you asking for foods, I miss your meals at 7am and 4pm, I miss your shampoo, your towels, your toys, your ledge. jiejie missed every little thing about you sweet heart.
This entire thing happened too quick. you could have a longer life span. jiejie could have you a little longer sweetheart.
Dearest BB, despite all that had happened, you know I loved you most... doted on you, play with you and is very thankful that you became a part of us , became ahma;s best companion, my bestest friend, brothers favourite pet, and family's joy. You became a part of us unknowingly over the years.
Baby, you will always be with us , even though this sentence is total crap but I hope youll remember me, my dear sweet heart.
Jiejie cant stop crying for you. I miss you baby.
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